S2Ep7: “Childbirth and regaining your sense of self” with Rachel Giampietro

Rachel is a gym owner and advocate of women's health. She shares her experiences within the fitness industry and shows us what resilience looks like in business and her personal journey through motherhood.

Join us as we delve into Rachel's journey and thoughts on motherhood, training and business ownership.

@_thestrongmama

Transcript

Nick Papastamatis  0:08  
Welcome to the balance experience podcast.

Jac Simmonds  0:11  
Welcome, welcome. How are we?

Nick Papastamatis  0:13  
Good Jaco. How are you?

Jac Simmonds  0:14  
I'm doing really well.

Nick Papastamatis  0:16  
Are you...Are you happy to to be on this earth today?

Jac Simmonds  0:20  
I couldn't be happier to be on planet earth today. 

Nick Papastamatis  0:23  
Have you hit a few golf balls?

Jac Simmonds  0:24  
Today?

Nick Papastamatis  0:25  
No? Yes?

Jac Simmonds  0:27  
Nah I haven't today. Now I played a played on the weekend played at Mona Vale, playing quite well at the moment actually thanks for asking, handicap of 6.2 right now, so that's pretty good.

Nick Papastamatis  0:37  
Getting better. Yeah. How'd you manage that?

Jac Simmonds  0:40  
The goal... Oh, just practice I guess. 

Nick Papastamatis  0:42  
Did you have a few lessons you told me? 

Jac Simmonds  0:43  
Had some lessons with... off give them a plug in here. But yeah, Allen Toppen Toppy. Yeah. If anyone needs some golf lessons, he's the man to see drop me from a 12 to a six in a few months.

Nick Papastamatis  0:53  
That's pretty good.

Jac Simmonds  0:54  
So yeah,

Nick Papastamatis  0:56  
funny what a few coaching sessions do huh? Wow.

Jac Simmonds  0:59  
100% So how are you Nicko?

Nick Papastamatis  1:00  
Mate I'm well, I'm well. I'm looking forward to a good training session later today, though.

Jac Simmonds  1:04  
Oh,

Nick Papastamatis  1:05  
yes.

Jac Simmonds  1:05  
Nice.

Nick Papastamatis  1:06  
I have a feeling I'm gonna do some deadlifts... some deads. Yes. Heavy. Heavy deadlift. Yeah.

Jac Simmonds  1:11  
Me and you did a little training session yesterday together. Actually.

Nick Papastamatis  1:13  
Not too bad. Too bad. Yeah. Although we have a guest Hmm. That I'd be scared to train with. She's fierce.

Jac Simmonds  1:21  
She is fierce.

Nick Papastamatis  1:21  
She's fierce. Her name is the strongmama. Rachel Giampietro.

Rachel Giampietro  1:25  
Hello. Hello, Thank you. good to be here. Now, thanks for having me. I'm excited.

Nick Papastamatis  1:32  
We've known each other for a while. Yes, we have a we've had an interesting year. 2020.

Rachel Giampietro  1:39  
Haven't hasn't everyone. But yeah, I will. I will agree there 

Jac Simmonds  1:43  
some more interesting than others. Yeah,

Nick Papastamatis  1:45  
yeah. And I think for those that don't know. Rachel, you've you're a gym owner. Yep. You're a mom. Yep. And you're a coach. Yep. You're a wife. Yep. You can tick all those off. What else, what else you anything else?

Jac Simmonds  2:05  
And the Strong Mama.

Rachel Giampietro  2:06  
And yeah, aka the strong Mama. 

Nick Papastamatis  2:08  
So tell us a little bit about like, what your life is like, like, Who are you?

Rachel Giampietro  2:12  
Yes. So My name is Rachel. But I like to call myself a strong Mama. You know, that's what Instagram says. So.

Nick Papastamatis  2:21  
Yeah, that's the reality yeah..

Rachel Giampietro  2:23  
Um, but yeah, no, I am a mom. I have two beautiful children. Lucas is five and Bella is two and I'm very happily married to my husband, Nick. Not this Nick. Another Nick. Just to clear that up there.

Nick Papastamatis  2:37  
He looks very different too.

Rachel Giampietro  2:38  
Yeah, yes. But yeah, so and have a business called strong Mama's health and fitness, which started online but I then branched out into opening a gym. And yeah, I guess that's in a nutshell. But there's been lots of changes happening this year and to come for next year as well. So big Yeah, that's kind of a little bit of a nutshell of who I am and what I do. And yeah, obviously very passionate about women's health strong mamas works with predominately mums and mums to be. So all the way from preconception pregnancy to postnatal. And I guess it stemmed from my own journey into motherhood and kind of finding that there wasn't many or especially locally high quality coaches that really specialized in this field confidently, let's put it that way. I didn't have anyone that I could turn to that I thought in terms of strength training, could guide me through it. So

Nick Papastamatis  3:37  
there's a massive difference between you said that would that buzzer that key word confidently. Yeah. You know, like, you can know some stuff. Yeah,

Jac Simmonds  3:45  
yeah. You and I have had this chat before Rach, but yeah, like there's, there's a big difference between being like a specialist in this stuff and being a generalist when it comes to training mothers and, and knowing how to go about that. So, yeah,

Nick Papastamatis  3:59  
PTs in general, you need to be generalists. Like you need to know a lot about a lot. Yes, but when it comes to women through this pre during post journey, like that, you can't just be an average Joe generalist, or even a good generalist. Yeah, you need to be pretty specific.

Jac Simmonds  4:18  
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So I guess that brings us to where did the strong mama start or where did that name start? And and why are you the strong mama?

Rachel Giampietro  4:27  
Yeah, so I guess um, I have always been into fitness say, so I've been a mom for five years, but I've always sort of been into fitness for the last 10 years. I probably started like everyone did and outdoor boot camps and clean eating and cardio and burning calories and all those kinds of things. But then I kind of found my found my way into strength training and really loved that and then I chose to become a mom and I didn't really know anyone that was confident in training me that there was Some pre and postnatal classes, but it was really low impact. And that was deflating for me like so I went from, you know, barbells and heavy weights to a fit ball and bright pink one kilo dumbbells when I was 12 weeks pregnant. And I was like, oh, like really? Like, do I have to downgrade like this much. And that was, um, you know, Dr. Google, I'm trying to look up stuff, it was very mixed messages. I thankfully had a great midwife that was said to me, Look, you sound very self aware and confident in whatever you were doing before, to continue doing which sounded great at the time. And even still sounds great today. But we can get in bit more detail of why that's not necessarily a correct or optimal thing to say. But that was the advice I was given back then. And so I kind of kept doing my thing. I knew nothing about the pelvic floor or abdominal separation and what that actually meant, and I kind of just winged it, to be honest, I didn't have any major complications in terms of my pregnancy, birth, recovery, and then I hit rock bottom in motherhood, because it wasn't anything I thought it would be. Well, and what I know today about the purpose of motherhood and and and children and what they the gift they are in terms of mother or parents self development, I kind of look back and think God, I really didn't, didn't know what it meant or like why I actually wanted to become a mom. So that kind of led to me to my rock bottom where I thought, Gosh, like motherhood is not what I thought it would be. I thought that like, I didn't really care about my job when I was pregnant, cuz I was like, fine, I'm just gonna become a mom, and like, I'm gonna be a stay at home mom, and I'm gonna just love having kids and stay at home. And then I didn't, I was like, Oh, my gosh, I just want to escape. But then I also feel extremely guilty for saying that because I love my son. But I'm also like, Oh, my gosh, this is just not what I thought. And I just didn't feel fulfilled. And so there was a lot of self development that needed to happen there. And um after some good year or so of resistance. And sort of whoah is me, I ended up getting some help. And there was a few moments but I went and saw Oprah in concert like she she came to Australia to kind of do a big speak about her life and living through purpose and service. And it was a very monumental night for me, I kind of actually went with my son strapped to my chest in the carrier. And a lot of things she said sort of just lit me up, like about serving and finding a purpose. And I went home and I made a vision board and I kind of thought What is it with them that I want to feel that I'm not feeling and how can I navigate being a good mom and also finding something that lights me up outside of being a mom, I felt like that's what I was missing. And it just dropped in with strong mamas. And I was like, Oh, I do love going to the gym. And I feel like there's no gyms where like other mums go and how cool would it be if you could bring your baby and your all mom's. And like, why isn't there anyone that does that? Like when I was pregnant? Like I could have met a bunch of moms like there's just so many things that I was like, maybe that's what I need to do. And I just just randomly that like I searched the business name, availability domain name, I was like, that's it, registered it. Well, I was like, that's mine I'm taking it, no one had taken it. I just feel like the stars are aligning. And I just like googled, I was like, does anyone run anything like this? And I was like, nup okay it's mine. Wasn't even qualified or anything. But I was like, I need it done. got someone to work on a logo. Okay. Did everything before I'd even thought... that's a straight out action, no hesitation. Yeah. Like, that's how I knew it was just aligned, like epic. It just dropped in.

Jac Simmonds  8:44  
And how old was Lucas? 

Rachel Giampietro  8:45  
He was one and a half. 

Jac Simmonds  8:47  
Okay, so there was sort of a transition period there where, you know, once Lucas was born, and maybe you trying to discover like, a little bit of purpose as well, yeah. Maybe personally would that be right? Would I be wrong?

Rachel Giampietro  8:58  
Yeah. So it took me a good while I kind of thought also, like, you know, they say like, the, you know, the baby stage is the hardest when they're a newborn, and they get a little bit older. And then it's like, when they turn one apparently, like they're a toddler. And it's like, easier, which is not. And like, you know, I just thought I was always waiting for that ye mock to be like, everyone said, it's gonna get easier. And it didn't. And now I know that like, necessarily wasn't him. It was my perception of what I thought motherhood should have been and what babies should have been and how much he should have been sleeping. And he wasn't. And yeah, my sort of just outlook on life and my ability to surrender so many things that I just wasn't able to do. And also that I didn't feel like I was living out my purpose and service. And for me, that wasn't just motherhood. So there was that whole that was missing for me.

Nick Papastamatis  9:49  
I have a question. Yeah. You said something. When you went to Oprah, you said something about what is the feeling that I'm desiring to feel? Mm hmm. A lot of People get caught up on setting a goal. That is generally a what I want. Yes. But they forget that it's actually this feeling that this thing is it gives them that that's what they want. Yeah. So when I treat a patient and I, and I, you know, make a difference to their neck, whatever, more back whatever injury it might be. It actually fulfills me because I get a, my extroverted self gets a dopamine hit yes. From seeing they're change. I'm seeing that change. There's like, Oh, that's better. It's like, Yeah, thank you. Yeah. And that makes me feel feel fulfilled for some other reason, for whatever reason that goes deeper than so it's not the change itself. It's the product of the change. It's the product of the change. But I can get that same feeling from getting a similar change from doing something completely different. I don't have to be bound to being a chiropractor. Sure.

Rachel Giampietro  10:54  
Yeah, absolutely. 

Nick Papastamatis  10:55  
So do you think that people are get get hung up on because you said there's a disparity between what you thought you wanted in print in motherhood? And what you got? Yep. Is it because you liked you wanted a child, and you wanted to be a mother, but you forgot to ask how you want it to feel?

Rachel Giampietro  11:14  
Mm, Yep. Yep. I've never thought of it like that. But absolutely. And when you were saying love that, there's Tony Robbins quote that something similar to you know, it's not what you achieve it's who you become something like that, basically, how people searching for like that thing of a goal or whatever. It's like, No, actually, it's who you become in the process is what you're actually searching for. And I feel like um, yeah, that's definitely what I came down to, of like, Okay, what is it that I'm lacking? Because in reality, I've got everything I thought I wanted. In terms of yeah...

Jac Simmonds  11:49  
it's a pretty common story with like, new parents, as you know, Rachel, I'm about to be a new parent as well. And I think sometimes people when they have a kid that their kids are in the clouds, obviously, about what it's gonna be like, yeah, I mean, yeah, I was as well. Yeah. As well, like, people also lose sight of who they are, potentially, as a person. And I think, and I don't know if you can add to this, but like, maintaining some sense of who you are, as a person is so important after after you give birth. Like, obviously, your priorities shift quite a lot. But you still need to be be who you are, and prioritize the passions, and you know, the things that you really love to do and enjoy and things like that. So

Rachel Giampietro  12:30  
yeah, and that's what I did. Well, the opposite of what I thought being a good mom meant. And I still think that's society's way is like, literally, who who can get the most selfless award. It's like, how much can I lose myself in the name of motherhood, parenthood? Yeah. And that was me, talking about selfless? Yeah, I'll take that, like, I can do that. And I thought that that was the greatest act of love. It was coming from what I thought was a good place. But then, you know, I realized that that's actually not what the child needs. And it's not what the mother needs, or the parent needs as well. It's, that's good for nobody. And it's so hard because you feel like oh, well, that's my purpose is to just be there and do everything that I can. But it's like, no, there's also some cons, not to even it's important to set boundaries. And it's important to protect yourself and protect your energy and fill your cup up outside of being a mom. Otherwise, you're running on empty. And that's no good for no one like you're there. But you're physically not there. And that's what I was finding is that I'm here, but what lack what service? Am I like? How am I actually enriching my son's life by being here? Now? I'm angry, I'm reactive all the time, because I just don't love what I'm doing. And I can it's not even you. You're You're an innocent, beautiful, perfect baby, being who you are, which is what you're exactly supposed to do.

Nick Papastamatis  13:50  
Do you put that down to your expectations not being met?

Rachel Giampietro  13:52  
Yeah, yeah. So my expectations, but I'll have a cute little baby that smiles all the time and just goes to sleep. And I'll just get to show off my cute little baby. And it will be cute and funny and like, and I feel like there is that absolutely. But that's really small part of it. A lot of it is some really hard work. And if you actually, like I'm right into conscious parenting about what it means, what what a child is sent here to do, and if you go back to something I've just come across called conscious conception. If you go back to the real spiritual element of what it means to be a parent, it's like you actually call the spirit forth of the child that is meant to be here for you to to essentially expose your emotional baggage to trigger you for your own growth, in that you're on a journey with them, not in front of them. So you're not here to essentially be the boss of your child. They're here to guide you just as much as you are to guide them if you go real deep into it, and Surrender into that. I just was like, Well, I'm only learning about it now five years later. And that's obviously helped my second postnatal experience immensely. But I can look back and say, oh, gosh, I just had it all wrong. I wasn't even that my son was difficult. I mean, it wasn't easy, but I guess no baby is, but I made it so much harder, because I was resisting what he was sent to teach me.

Nick Papastamatis  15:25  
When you think of when you think of this is, you know, this comes down to the the sort of known science versus the science that we don't understand just yet. Yes. And when you think of, if you think of like the baby, as a physical being, and as an organism, and for what it is, from a physical sense, itself, it requires nutrients, it is a particular shape and the size makes a certain sound, then the shapes are disproportionate in terms of who you are as a parent, and who the child is. And therefore, we we assert some level of dominance over that man, because we're naturally bigger, stronger, more mature.

Rachel Giampietro  16:06  
And they are dependent on us.

Nick Papastamatis  16:07  
But is there a difference between the energy that a child brings versus the energy of the mother or father Hmm, and I feel...believe that the energy of the child is just as powerful.

Rachel Giampietro  16:21  
if not more, they're unconditioned. We've been conditioned to control that by our caregivers by society. They essentially they're born pure love energy.

Nick Papastamatis  16:30  
Jac is smirking, because he's at he's at his scientific limit.

Jac Simmonds  16:38  
In essence, you're right, Nick, like babies only understand things that feel good. It's like, it's like anything, they understand things that feel good and things that don't feel good, right? So they act on their inhibitions. Whereas we act on more of a conscious mind. Right? Like,

Rachel Giampietro  16:50  
yes, we have that ability. We just lose it.

Jac Simmonds  16:53  
Well, that's right. Yeah. I think there's some really good lessons and especially for me here Rach, but what I'm what I'm hearing, like a main sort of lesson from that is to be a good parent and to be well, not so much a good parent, but to be the best parent you can be. You need to be the best person you can be as well. Yeah, yeah, spot on. And to achieve that means not losing sight of who you were preconception as well.

Rachel Giampietro  17:16  
Yeah. Yep. And that's, like, so much easier said than done. And especially for say, you know, obviously, mothers are usually the primary caregivers, and if they, you know, choose not to work or can't afford daycare or all those things, then there's only so much they can do and essentially, like one thing that is guaranteed when you become a parent is that time is no longer yours. Time is driven by your child. Sure. And that's just the way it is and that there's a grieving process so and no one talks about it but you... 

Nick Papastamatis  17:50  
the grieving process for time or individuality?

Rachel Giampietro  17:53  
No you grieve, your old self or your self, your old life. You almost like think, gosh, like this really what I wanted, I just didn't realize it was so much....

Jac Simmonds  18:05  
Well you said it yourself as well. Like you were saying like, what did we actually do? What did Nick and I do with weekends before work?

Nick Papastamatis  18:11  
And you don't have to answer these? Are you still? Is this still a very real thing for you? Like this grieving process? Yeah.

Rachel Giampietro  18:18  
Yeah, definitely. Like I still have moments around like, like my kids are mid tantrems, like both of them, like next level when there's two of them. And he just saying, oh, yep, cool like love this for me. Wish I could just snap my fingers and just be alone right now. And just have no one and nothing to worry about. And especially running a business as well, which, you know, I'm sure you saw it during business coaching with us that, like, there's only so much I can do when I'm when I have two children. And are depended on me a lot in terms of time. And now as I'm just I can't do that unless I just forget that I've got children. So trying to juggle everything. Yeah, you just I've had moments where I'm like, should I have put having a family on hold and just done a business. But then I'm also like, I am who I am today and strong mamas birthed from me becoming a mom. So I can't undo that. No, I need to just figure out how to do both because it was meant to be this way. For this reason. I am who I am today because of what happened to me. I can't go Oh, dammit, I should have just done the blah blah. Like it happened exactly the way it had to. I've just got to maneuver and now and that's been the hardest bit but I guess that's what makes strong mamas what it is because there's so much passion behind it.

Jac Simmonds  19:29  
Do you find things like post postpartum like in the role that exercise plays for women? Do you feel that a big part of that is the fact that they're just doing something for themselves?

Rachel Giampietro  19:41  
Yes. Yeah. So I get 95% of Wow, let's say 100. They'll come to me saying like oh, I just I need to lose weight. I put on so much weight during my pregnancy. I feel gross, blah, blah, blah. It definitely comes from a body image. And I guess kind of feeling kind of perspective to but it's very rare of like you know, I want to invest back in myself. It definitely comes from it.

Nick Papastamatis  20:10  
So how long do you find that process where women let themselves, They lose themselves in their child? Yeah, they succumb to the energy of the child and they become basically identify themselves as a mother. A selfless mother only.

Jac Simmonds  20:22  
Yes.

Nick Papastamatis  20:24  
How long do you reckon that process usually goes for before they realize Holy shit,

Rachel Giampietro  20:28  
I should do something? Yeah. Um, gosh, I feel like the reality of is that there's a lot of women that just don't ever

Nick Papastamatis  20:35  
They don't come out of it. Yeah.

Rachel Giampietro  20:37  
Nope. And then I can just they're just, they're just resentful, unfulfilled. There's a lot of resentful, unfulfilled mums walking around who'll I guess not blame motherhood, but no, I guess that's the word blame motherhood or just used as an excuse of like, well, this is what I signed up to. And this is just what it is, like some sort of resignation. Yeah. And it's kind of like, well, that's the price I paid. 

Jac Simmonds  21:03  
do you think that might be because of lack of perceived shame around not being a selfless Mother?

Rachel Giampietro  21:07  
100%. Like the there is, well, the most amount of shame will come from the mother herself. But I guess it's more herself. Yeah, yeah, on herself. But it probably doesn't seem that way to her, she probably more worried about what other people will think or my children will suffer or make some sort of, I have to lean on somebody else to be able to fill my cup up. And I'm not prepared to do that. So there's just so many things, it's just easier. But I'm like, Is it easier to not look after yourself? Like, who actually benefits from that in the long run? 

Nick Papastamatis  21:38  
Absolutely no one. And I know like, because generationally as well. I mean, my parents are baby boomers and migrants. Yeah. And so I can pretty much my, these are my mom's words, that she believes her life's role is to be a mother. Mm hmm. Therefore, she still she still treats me like a child.

Jac Simmonds  22:04  
Yeah.

Nick Papastamatis  22:04  
I think and I think those generation, there's nothing less helpful than my mom treating me like a child still.

Jac Simmonds  22:10  
Yes. So like my same thing with my mom. Like, I mean, when I was born, you know, my mom was straight out of work and hasn't hasn't worked, like in a full time role since and has has definitely filled that role of a selfless mother. And I know, and I know, she probably went through periods where she was feeling the same things Rach as you feel to that, or, you know, you have felt in the past where, you know, the world revolves around your child. Yeah. And finding purpose personally for yourself can be a little bit tricky. So yeah.

Nick Papastamatis  22:41  
We were born a we have we all been born later than 1981. Yes. Yeah. So we're in the 80s. Right. Yeah. So are you both 90s... with that attitude, right, from our, our parents, that generation, what do you think is done to the Gen Y mentality?

Jac Simmonds  23:03  
Well, if I like I think, as well, they may struggle to see how, you know, mothers, you know, react to, to having a newborn because it just wasn't the way they did it as well. Right, which is it was a different time. Things were very different in the in the 80s and 90s, than what they are today. And in many ways. I don't know what you think. Ah, but yes, it was comparing apples and oranges, I guess.

Rachel Giampietro  23:30  
Yeah, absolutely. So I guess, I mean, we're talking about before. I'm one of six kids. So and if the biological clock wasn't ticking for my mom, she would have just had more, because that's just what they did back then. into, like, you know, my eldest... no smartphones, oh, yeah. Yeah. no distractions, clearly.

Nick Papastamatis  23:51  
Stay focused.

Rachel Giampietro  23:56  
And then that would say, my dad went and worked a ridiculous amount of hours, I guess it was barely at home. And so my mom's compensation was, well, I'll just have a lot of kids then to sort of, I guess, keep me busy. And obviously, it's a beautiful experience, bringing a new child into the world every time I totally get that as well. But, um, times are very different. Like, there's not a lot of mothers who can stay at home today. So they're torn. So and then it's also like, if they go to work, that's they've used up part of the me time. But then if they go to work in a job that they hate, just to earn some money, while spending time away from their child, and it drains them doesn't fill them up. Why would they think about, you know, exercising on top of that, like, yeah, so again, like the priorities have shifted. You know, society is just different, the expectations is different. So there's so many things that are different today. But when it comes to being a mom and the whole selflessness thing, I think that's still around, but I guess it is a generational thing as well. But um, I guess that made me feel like I have to follow in the footsteps of my mom to in being completely selfless but I didn't, I didn't learn boundaries. And I never really saw my mom, say, You know what? I love you guys, but god I love myself too. And I'm going to do something for me today, you're going to be watched by so and so you'll be right. And then to see her come back so full it would have been a gift. And that's what I feel like I've given my children like in the last few years, I spent less time especially for my son. I've spent less time with him than I did in the first few years. But he I can't even explain how much he has changed because I changed. And I, like his daycare have said everyone has just sort of said, Gosh, he's just, He's incredible. And for the first year and a half of his life, I felt like all he did was cry. Well, and I look back now and I think that's probably because I wasn't listening to him, I was feeding him on a schedule that a baby book told me to. And I was making him sleep because the baby book told me to or the doctor told me to I just totally did not know how to live from intuition did not know how to follow my baby and, and communicate with my baby. Like they are incredible beings. They can tell you exactly what they need. You don't need anybody else. Nobody knows your baby like you do. And it's all within you. But if you have so much noise around you, and you don't have that self awareness, that trust that surrender, that intuition, which is all there.

Nick Papastamatis  26:27  
So I strongly believe there are two reasons for that. The first one is probably well, two reasons that I can think of. The first one is probably the fact that 93% of communication is nonverbal. Yeah. But then there's another thing called quantum entanglement. Have you heard of this nai. So quantum entanglement is a pretty out there concept. Where under a photon microscope, pretty much our exact sales, I have to research exactly what sales they are, are actually shown to if twins as an example, under a photon microscope, this the cells that are seen on two photon microscope, actually mirroring the same sequence in the same position in the exact opposite way. Like Like a yin and yang would create with their twin cycle. And it's actually not, it's actually got nothing to know no boundaries, no bound, it's not bound by distance. It's just bound by how each twin feels. But when you've got such a strong connection, when you've got such a strong connection with your child, or a strong emotional connection with anyone, which is why you feel like I feel so chemically, like when you find your partner, it's just like this amazing feeling. Yeah, that you're actually feeling the entanglement. Yes. There's nothing and there is actual chemistry that occurs because your cells are actually molding to this. Yes, yes. And that way, that way you actually have and that that has actually been shown on Ornstein. Albert Einstein tried to prove it wrong. But in his quest proved it more, right. Yeah.

Jac Simmonds  28:18  
I think you've told me this one before. And it could explain. And there's a great saying like mothers and

Nick Papastamatis  28:23  
yeah, how they just know that intuition,

Rachel Giampietro  28:25  
intuition, insight. They are a part of us. Yeah. And I guess that also is something that I feel fathers struggle with, because we are just like, emotionally, bound, and we go through the whole process together. There's a connection there before they're outside. It's not the same for fathers. So it's almost hard to navigate the parenting journey together. And my my husband, Nick, and I definitely struggled in that first year as well, which obviously would have impacted me.

Jac Simmonds  28:55  
Well, the baby wants you more than they want the father in the first year. Yeah. 

Nick Papastamatis  28:57  
I think they have different needs. Yeah.

Rachel Giampietro  28:59  
Yeah. And then like, he's... Nick is like being down the pecking order and like this, just what happens but um, and then again, like I wasn't even fulfilled, so how can I show up as a mother and show up as a wife if I just don't even feel like I lost myself or can show up for myself?

Jac Simmonds  29:16  
Do you think with with the strong mamas in with your gym? Do you think these feelings that you felt you know, postpartum, Is this where your passion for women's health and fitness is has sort of been driven by?

Rachel Giampietro  29:27  
Yeah, absolutely. Because I just thought, God, I cannot be the only one. And if I would, you know, I dare to spark the conversation. You just mothers connect with other mothers, especially when they're like minded, just like you get that energy exchange. And you just feels so held and supported and loved and just the you just know what another mother is going through. You know, when you meet someone else, and they're saying, Mom, it's just almost like, you know, you have that safety net to be like, Oh, you get it. And I guess there's so many mothers who don't, they don't even know other moms are like the mums that they do know, on on the same page, or they've only got sort of their mum to go by which, you know, times change. There's so much more information out these days free information, like there's nothing, there's no podcast or anything like that. So you know, I'm almost teaching my mom new things. And I've worked with older ladies who are just blown away with what I know about, yeah, birth and motherhood, they're like, gosh, I didn't, I would never thought of that. And it's almost like I can see them. Go wind the clock back 20 years thinking, gosh, how did I show up as God and but then I'm also like, you know, it's not too late. If your children have children, you can be there for them and help them make these positive changes for their children. Like it's not too late for you if you're an older mom, learning all this stuff too.

Nick Papastamatis  30:46  
In saying that, there's a book called The nurture assumption, nurture assumption by Judith rich Harris. And she's one of the most renowned researchers in pediatric psychology. Sorry, developmental psychology. And basically, this book is about the nurture assumption being, is it nature? Or is it nurture? Are the children the way they are? Because of their nature? Or is it because of their parents? And actually, it's because they pay group? Yeah. However, in the context of their family, and in the context of anything that reminds them of their family, they will immediately adopt the behavior and the type of  with the person that resembles their parents.

Rachel Giampietro  31:27  
Yes, that's, that's the same as I'm getting the love you want.

Nick Papastamatis  31:31  
But what's it all right, again, that

Rachel Giampietro  31:32  
In that we are attracted to what's familiar.

Nick Papastamatis  31:34  
Yeah. And so we'll go back to our default. If we're in the context, that reminds us of our default. Yes. And the rest is actually molded by our peers. Yes. Right. And so how see this is this is I find this stuff fascinating because the the way the relationship is with our parents, the that sort of baby boomer sort of generation, I guarantee that we will all default back to a certain Unless Unless one party decides to change that somehow. I can only imagine how many baby boomer moms and dads still have the same relationship, that default relationship they're built with their children as kids. Yeah. Going forward. It's just the conversation has just leveled up. Yes. However, the interaction is still still theme wise is the same? Yeah, yeah. Still getting told by a dad? Hmm. You know, that dad said to me the other day. I'm like, I'm gonna go buy a new car. My frickin my sides goods. Almost dragon on the frickin floor. I'm like, I've had enough of these cards time. Yeah. He's like, oh, come, I'll come with you. I'm like, why? Yeah. And he's like, Oh, well, just always how it's been. always has been. And he says roles. Always the person that bargains for me. Yes. It's like, yeah, cha cha cha cha cha. Yeah. Sit down a meal. Yeah, yeah. Tell some jokes.

Rachel Giampietro  32:56  
Yeah, it's but you do you get so used to having your identity as being a key, like, serving the children that then when they're older, and they're well and truly able to serve themselves, you can't help but do that. If you don't do that, then who are you anymore? Because you're so attached to that identity, but it's not all that you are. And you're actually to disservice to not let your child go and do their own things. And just be that we feel like we need to stop things from happening your children or fix fix things or, you know,

Nick Papastamatis  33:34  
so what should we do?

Rachel Giampietro  33:36  
where they were there, too. It's hard because there's a fine line in terms of like, you know, we there's an analogy of like, like a child, look out the window. But, and, but don't let them jump in sit in terms of like, okay, you can't just be like, you know, what, you are a free spirit, you do whatever you want to do climb that window, and it's open and you're 10 foot height. Yeah, absolutely. But then, you know, you're there to be like, hey, actually, I know, if you jump, you could kill yourself. They don't understand that as a child. So there is that line of where we do have to guide them and save them from themselves... and you know, but then that line gets so blurred and pushed back. So the other way of where we feel like we have to tell them what to dress. What to do and like, don't do that and don't do this. And it's just it's just not ours. Yeah. And it's so hard to two it's just self awareness of like, what are you actually predicting on your child? That's just you and what you've been conditioned so you we will parent how we will parent because it's default? Yes. And so conscious parenting is undoing that and having the space between your what happens and your reaction. Yep. To go, Okay, hold on here. How much of this is just going to be an instant reaction of conditioning and just projecting or whatever actually, how can I create that space to be like, Okay, what is the what is the right thing to do or say here? So little things. For example, My son has refused to get his hair cut. He's, he's always been quite funny. And these are some of the things that killed me. Like he just was always a child, if someone touched him that he didn't know he would cry. And I hated that, because I got like, why can't you just let people hug you and be cute and laugh? Because they know, they would always be like, oh, what's wrong with him? Is he tired? And I'm like, I don't know, like, questioning my authority. Again, I'm like, I don't know. And then I would almost resent him like, God, how do you just be happy. And now I'm also like, now I'm like, Don't touch my child go away. Like, just let them have their space. And if they don't want to hug you or cuddle you, that's your, like, your issue. Not there's so many things I could go into. But for some reason, he doesn't want to get his hair cut. So he's five. So he was getting it done. And we really coached him through that. And then he accidentally got cut with the clippers. And that was at UC, I could say it was triggered straightaway. And now it's been a traumatic experience. So he's at the point where he's like, I do not want to get a haircut. And initially, I was like, we have to get haircut. And he was like, why? And I could not, it was a great common answer. I was like, Is he gonna die? It's gonna die. Like, what? Is it a safety concern? Like, why? Why does he need it? Who am I to say he can't have long hair?

Nick Papastamatis  36:23  
Well, Lucas, it's because of the social norms that we have established.

Rachel Giampietro  36:29  
And I know that sounds so deep from a haircut...

Nick Papastamatis  36:31  
...periods for my own in our society today is short hair...

Rachel Giampietro  36:35  
Yes. And honestly, I was like, because I like it better shot. And I like to style it. Oh, like it didn't like now he has long hair. And he's so happy. Like, he just is not fazed by it whatsoever. And he's like, Mom, I want to grow my hair long like yours. And so part of me is like, Oh, my God, what will people say? And then I'm also like, why do I care about that,

Jac Simmonds  36:54  
Interesting, because it's all conditioned from your peers and your parent

Rachel Giampietro  36:57  
it is. And it's just like, Wait, hold on. And this really, it sparked my, it's opened my mind to every ... I'm a questioner now, and now I'm on. Hold on. Why do we do that? And so, my poor husband, I just sent him down a journey of like, questioning everything is like, God, like, you're just a rule breaker, like, well, I guess you could call it like, no, because I'm literally like, why do we do what we do? And there's so much in conception, birth, the birthing system is just, I'm just gonna say it's fact. It's so not it's so controlled. There's so much so many moms birth trauma, pregnancy, trauma is huge. It's not spoken about, and it shapes their entire motherhood journey, it then translates to how they parent how they show up in the world. Like, it's huge, because there are no women who are confident to say, hold on. Why are you telling me to do this, they're going to the wrong type of hair, caregivers and health care providers, because again, it's just like the norm to go to private and go to a male obstetrician, which I still cannot wrap my head around a male knowing the woman's body like a woman I can I can definitely say it is male dominated. I've heard some horrible stories like, even last week, overhearing conversations between other mom of what her male obstetrician told her happens to vagina when you give birth naturally, so she opted for an elected cessarian, things around just like was that necessary?

Jac Simmonds  38:19  
That's a really important point, actually. 

Nick Papastamatis  38:20  
Well, before we go into it, yeah. Is that okay? Before we go into it, I'd love to because you've had two children. Mm hmm. You talked about how we first Lucas, you basically did everything by the book? Yep. And then, what was your experience with Lucas? Different to your experience with your second child? Bella? Yeah, yes. So what what was your like? Let's Let's start with, did you experience the private health, the private health road? Did you go through the traditional route?

Rachel Giampietro  38:52  
So I was lucky to have a midwife that kind of opened that door for informed choice. And there was only so much you could do because I was still through the hospital system. But I do when I when I fell pregnant. I was like, Oh, God, do I go public private. And I was lucky to have all the sister in laws, my brother's wives and one in particular, who had had three children had a massive gap and had gone on to have another two around the same time as me just before. So she had done the private for her first three and said, didn't have a positive experience. I've had such a gap of self element yet for three and then for these last two, went public, and then actually had a home birth, the fifth one, and she was having a home birth at the time that I was pregnant with Lucas. So I could admire home home birth, but I was like, Whoa, I didn't even know what I'm getting into that same scary for me at the time, but I loved the whole natural birth thing. And so she really opened my mind up to that and she said, Look, I've done both private and public and now I'm doing a homebirth would never go private again. That was to me there was no benefits and I had a better experience public. So based on that I was like, Okay, and then I'll still not sure Singing acupuncture. So at that time, I had struggled to fallen pregnant, which again was I, you know, didn't say at the time, but it was a huge lesson for me and surrender, and trust and patience and also knowing that, you know, whilst I was trying those those failed pregnancy attempts were obviously not the child that was meant to be for me. So now I can look back and say, it happened the way it should have happened. But I was doing acupuncture at the time as part of my preconception journey. And my acupuncturist gave me a book written by an Australian midwife on the pros and cons of private versus public. And it just was so obvious to me that they were very rarely if you were healthy, had a low risk pregnancy, which about 80% of women do, there was no need for a highly medicalized birth, or pregnancy journey. So it just felt right to me to go public. And there's private midwife groups in many public hospitals where it's really, um, I forget the word but like one on one continuum of care. So they actually you barely even go to the hospital, the midwife comes to your house for the appointments like it was really personalized. For a, I was like, yeah, this actually sounds good. Like I'm low risk pregnancy. You know, this, there shouldn't be anything that's higher rates. And if you are, they can switch you to the public hospital system. So that's just what I did. stars aligned, had a wonderful midwife who I was a bit, I felt silly, almost being like, Oh, look, I really want a natural birth. I didn't know what she was going to say whether she was going to plant those seeds of doubt, of like, No, you know, natural birth really hard. Not sure if you can have it, we'll see how you go. She just was like, absolutely, there's no reason you can't. I'm here to support guide you. Every time she came to my house was there for like hours chatting. And we really got that connection. I felt supported by her. She also could learn a lot about me and my values. And I was starting to grow and learn. And she gave me a little book recommendations just I opened up my world. And when you go private, it's like 10 minutes. From what I've heard, and I've had a lot of the same stories. It's like 10 minute bike, ultrasound check. Yeah, how you going a good library Bub pushes good cake, great buy. There's no connection, there's no relationship. There's no like learning development, there's no real space to kind of be like, Hey, I'm a bit worried about this, or I'm bit nervous about this and met a lot of midwives now. And they say like most women put more thought and energy and time into planning their wedding, they do their birth, and then imagine if it's up to you wedding, and so disappointed that how the whole day when and this person didn't turn up here and this didn't go nobody knew that I wanted this and that and that. That's what happens to so many births. And it's a cycle where did the preparation or Well, and why aren't we meeting these people...

Nick Papastamatis  42:45  
I've never compared that to a wedding before?

Jac Simmonds  42:48  
So I'm going through the private system at the moment with with my wife's, well,

Nick Papastamatis  42:51  
how does that compare?

Jac Simmonds  42:52  
Well, I think like I can fully understand what you're saying Rach as well. Like, there's there's definitely the the quick appointment. And, you know, I think having a bit more availability for questioning. Yeah. And more education on options for childbirth. Yeah, definitely two things that are jumping out, which would be very important. Like, thankfully, like myself, I feel like I because I've worked in healthcare and things like that. I feel like my understanding of childbirth is is not too bad. But generally for women first time childbirth, you know, and then there's they're finding out these things like the low lying placentas and whatever, and you know,

Rachel Giampietro  43:33  
and they're are some genuine, of course, yeah, she's that require medical support.

Jac Simmonds  43:38  
Yeah, definitely. But then, also, like, just having having that general open dialogue where, okay, this is what's happening. These are your options like it, and this is your body like, Yeah, what, you know, where are we going to go with this not being so dictated by? I'm the expert. Yes. This is what you do.

Rachel Giampietro  43:56  
Yeah. And, and that's, and if you don't know anything, you just, you won't question it. And it's like, a question. Yeah. And how dare you like, Don't you care about your baby inside? Okay. And you do, you're vulnerable, you don't know what's going on. But then it's also like, hey, actually, we do know a lot about our bodies and women are designed to birth naturally, like, you could debate that on on and it really triggered some people who don't know anything other than medicalized birth. And I'm not first second, discrediting the how many lots have been saved for medical support. That's obviously what started but it's flipped the switch. Now, it's like predominantly birth is medical. And it's like these hippies who do home birth, which is what I ended up doing my second daughter because I had such a positive experience through the public system. I leave it at home, I rocked up to the hospital, literally last minute, the most uncomfortable. Worst part of my labor was in the car ride to the hospital for my first I literally got there, got told to push and that was it. And I had practice tearing because I was in an unsafe environment. You know, looking back now, I pushed instead of a allowing my body to just do its thing. So there was a lot of like reflection off to that where I was like, I didn't need the hospital. And if anything, it made me feel worse, felt very controlled. And I was in there, they questioned everything that I wanted to, they're already gone through my with my midwife. So many little things like you get tested for like you get a vaginal swab towards the end for a bacteria. And if you test positive, they recommend you have anybody, just go straight to your baby, right? Which I just was like, okay, that's what you do. And my midwife knew me and said, I know you, I want you to go and do some research, go through the books, and have a think about it. And I'll support whatever you choose to do. And I looked at and I was like, shit, and then you know, the thing is, they don't tell you is that the GBS comes and goes so you can test negative, and then the next day be positive, you can test positive. So that's the bacteria that lies in the vagina, and it comes and goes all the time. But when you're pregnant, there is a risk that if you give birth, naturally, the baby can contract it and there's some health concerns there. It is rare, but obviously there is those stores natural natural flora, and it's not even it comes and goes so you can test negative and they usually test you in the last few weeks. And then you can go negative or she's negative GBS guys great. So no, no red flags, but then at the time of birth, you could be positive it could have changed for in that time, and they didn't test right away. So it's not even...

Jac Simmonds  46:25  
So it fluctuates...

Rachel Giampietro  46:26  
It fluctuates. And same with if you've got positive...

Nick Papastamatis  46:29  
test, they test at that time to see if there's a chance there's a chance

Jac Simmonds  46:33  
and then it doesn't suggest its the case.

Nick Papastamatis  46:37  
shouldn't it just be a case of monitoring the baby at that point?

Rachel Giampietro  46:40  
And that's the thing is like, you know, most people would just say, Yes, I have the antibiotics, but I didn't want to do that. I understood. They are Yeah, that's literally and a lot of what they do is liability issues liability issue. Even when I got to the hospital, my midwife had run limb and said she is GBS positive, but she has chosen not to have an IV antibiotics I walk in, and what's the first thing they do? Put it try and put an IV on me. And I said, What are you doing? I don't want it and they all looked at each other like, Oh, okay. Yeah, like, no one says no.

Nick Papastamatis  47:14  
It's like the furthest away from a patient centered approach. It's like such a, such a medically driven approach that it's like, these are your choices. I'm the one I just told you.

Rachel Giampietro  47:24  
Yeah, exactly. And and then mothers don't realize how they will carry that for life. And you're you go into this whole new world of motherhood, the last thing you need is feeling like you weren't heard supported had the birth that you wanted. And when I say the birth you wanted it's ness like people think, Oh, don't get attached to a certain way of birthing. You never know what's going to happen. 100%. But did you have someone who had gone through every possible scenario of a case you can't have this for the safety of you and your baby? Like genuinely, this is not going to be the safest option? Then what could be our next best option? There's always choices. And it's you don't enjoy your experience when you feel like hey, like, none of that was what even I wanted. Nobody asked me and then you fight hear another story of a woman who got that experience. And you're like, what I could have had that or like there's so much trauma and then you don't talk about it. Because it's like my baby's alive and healthy, I should just be happy in a cycle. No, it matters, it matters how you birth, and that, again, comes back from Who are you choosing as your health care provider, like who are you choosing to be on this intimate journey with you and who's going to support you and then who's in your labor. Like, I remember hearing something like the way in which you conceive a baby, the the environment, or the setting for that is half birth should be so it's not bright lights with 50 light, you know, 10 people around you and a lot of medical devices and monitoring that it's a quiet dark room, it's intimate, there's a lot of love, there's a lot of like, flow, there's a lot of support, like you want to generate those feelings. oxytocin is your like, your best friend during birth, it will, it will guide your body into everything that you need to do. But any amount of fear will stop oxytocin production, and then that just sends red flags to the body and basically puts you in a state of lack. Well, it's not safe to birth, so your body will try and stop it, which usually leads for you, you babies into stress leads to cessarian or all those kinds of things. And there's a highly medicalized approach. And then yeah, or just having someone in the room you don't know.

Nick Papastamatis  49:23  
or don't go through meditative processes. Like, okay, breathe, you got to breathe. It's kind of like Yeah, but that's that's just a way to that's just a way to regulate your fight or flight response. Right? Yes. Because the environment we put you in? Yeah, no, I don't think they're doing that on purpose. I just don't think they see the world any other way.

Jac Simmonds  49:38  
Yeah, yeah.

Nick Papastamatis  49:42  
What I'm hearing right now is a is a direct comparison between the masculine medical world of transactions, control control directors speed

Rachel Giampietro  50:00  
Yeah, it is it's literally like how many clients can I serve 

Nick Papastamatis  50:03  
...to like the feminine world, which is all about nurturing, flow, passion, love, surrender all that stuff...and birth is such a, like natural birth is such a fun process to go through. 

Rachel Giampietro  50:18  
And a woman needs as much as like that. That is there is no higher high, then the post natural birth feeling and like that, it's almost like back I just say like an energizer bunny like it just gives you that high that is designed to help you navigate those first few months and beyond of motherhood because you're high on that oxytocin, it helps bonding it helps with breastfeeding, like there's so many benefits. And when you're given an epidural, or you choose an epidural, because you think it's the easier option and not understand that your body's designed to do it and you're capable. You've got these seeds of doubt planted like Oh, do you have a good pain threshold, and you should probably get an epidural. So as soon as pain comes on, I'm not gonna be able to do this, I better get the epidural, but they're not understanding what it does to your body. What that does to the baby. They cannot drive drowsy that can limit their ability to breastfeed and breastfeed and have that connection, you have the guilt about, I couldn't breastfeed and you look at every other mom breastfeeding, and you hang on to that for the next 40 years. Like there's just so many things that stem back to the way that you were cared for during the pregnancy and the birth. And I'm not saying that's the same experience for everyone. But I can tell you now, but there's so many moms, and I've heard so many stories, and I can't help but paste two and two together of Blackpool. How, like, how, how much effort and time did you really put into educating yourself and choosing the right person to guide you and standing your ground. And I've had women who have still had a good positive experience in the private system, but because they've been informed and confident to be like, I want this. And if you really put your foot down. Most care providers and obstetricians will be like, Whoa, okay. I guess you know, I guess she has like has a point or she can't say no to that. But if you don't ask, they'll just work their way.

Jac Simmonds  52:06  
I feel like our experience with the private system. So far, we've got a female obstetrician. Yeah. And I can definitely see how this is the case with you know, obstetricians who are in the private system. But we she's been super open and super, like available to talk about options for childbirth. And but I can see how that's probably not like a common thing to see no. And, yeah,

Rachel Giampietro  52:32  
like, I just hear 90% of the time about male obstetricians, and then obviously, so after I had my first son, I had breastfeeding issues. And I met my midwife got me in contact with a another midwife, who is a home birth midwife. So there's a there's a lot of home birth midwife groups, there's a bunch of midwives who are all private midwives, who most of them are linked to a hospital system, but then they able to practice homebirths. So she was lactation consultant, I met her the way that she just handed my son her energy as a person. I just was like, Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with her. And I'm having a bath next time as she is going to be my midwife. I just knew it. Because I just thought, What did the hospital system Give me that I needed? Nothing. As I'm capable, I knew my body could do it. I can do it again. And obviously, you go through all the possible scenarios with the private midwife. 

Nick Papastamatis  53:29  
So for people that probably because it picked something up that might that might want to clear up. When you say the hospital system did nothing for you with your first birth. Mm hmm. You saying that because the only thing that it did was provide you with a bed? Mm hmm. And beyond that was there any aftercare?

Rachel Giampietro  53:49  
I got, I had stitches for my tearing, but most private midwives are able to do that as well. And that was it.

Nick Papastamatis  53:59  
Okay, that was about and what about with your son?

Rachel Giampietro  54:02  
Yeah, that was it. So they just monitored him because I chose I was the GBS positive and had no antibiotics. It was requirement that he stayed we stayed for 24 hours to monitor his temperature to see if there's any signs of infection.

Nick Papastamatis  54:13  
But with the stitching and the monitoring you could do, you could do at home.

Rachel Giampietro  54:16  
So that's what I meant in terms of that. Was there anything that I felt I needed that I wouldn't have been able to go to get at home and they were the questions I did ask my midwife as well.

Nick Papastamatis  54:26  
And I'm not I'm not asking you to question you. I'm just curious curious.

Rachel Giampietro  54:32  
Nah I love it. Go for it.

Nick Papastamatis  54:33  
Is it... Did it provide you with any element of reassurance? Um, that your son was being monitored?

Rachel Giampietro  54:43  
At the time, yes, I guess. But even still, I felt like they weren't on time and they said they would come very busy. Even with my stitching. I waited the whole night to see a doctor who never came and never Doctor never came a midwife just came the next morning and said, well, the doctors been busy. I'll check your stitching. Why are you in a rush to go?

Jac Simmonds  55:07  
She felt like it was just part of your big routine because because I really love being in hospital.

Rachel Giampietro  55:12  
Because I was like, I love being a new mom in a hospital bed with a catheter, I just want to go home. Like, I just want..

Nick Papastamatis  55:17  
What was the catheter for?

Rachel Giampietro  55:18  
Because my stitching was so bad. They were worried that I wouldn't be able to go to the toilet. And so then I'm just like, Oh, this is awesome. I can't even get stitching. 

Nick Papastamatis  55:26  
Is the stitching something you can get fixed later? 

Rachel Giampietro  55:29  
Yes. So I mean, again, knowing what I know now, because I wasn't in a safe environment for me at the time when I was... 

Nick Papastamatis  55:36  
when you say safe, you mean emotionally safe?

Rachel Giampietro  55:38  
Emotionally safe.

Nick Papastamatis  55:40  
It's a very, very, sterile.

Rachel Giampietro  55:41  
yes. And also very, yes, it was very panicked. And I also was told you can push that is the worst, in my opinion. And from what I know is the worst advice you can give a mom is to push you just see the whole like, push as like there's this fetal ejection reflex. I think it's called. Like when you go to a poo, like you know, when you're just like, Okay, I got a poo like it's coming, and it just comes you don't push it out. It just comes that is literally what is designed to happen. 

Nick Papastamatis  56:11  
Do I ever? Oh, yeah,

Jac Simmonds  56:14  
Nick got a bacon egg roll with serratia mayo and a Piccolo this morning. So yeah, straight through you.

Rachel Giampietro  56:19  
So you know the feeling? 

Nick Papastamatis  56:20  
I was trying to hold back.

Rachel Giampietro  56:22  
That is what happens in childbirth, you don't need to push and there's a certain amount of stretching. So like the baby's head will crown first. So that's the baby's head just crowning through the vagina. And you'll stay there for a few contractions on purpose so that it just allows the vagina stretch to minimize tearing, like and again, oxytocin. oxytocin helps stretch the parent name, it helps stretch the vagina naturally.

Jac Simmonds  56:48  
So in pushing suppresses that?

Rachel Giampietro  56:50  
pushing is just forces it so you're guaranteed to tear because you've built not allowing your body to just take its time but most hospital invites like push, push, come on, we've got to get this baby out. Also to make you push on your back. And if you look at the pelvis tilts, when you're on the back, you'll see the baby puppet put back in. So he joking. And so but what are women do they lay on their back? The most non optimal position ever, but again, they'll go lay on your back, okay, you're feeding children getting their forward quadrupeds Yeah, I birth standing upright, kneeling. And then when I was for my second birth, I was in what a birth at home and I was on all fours in the...

Jac Simmonds  57:30  
wonder why they do that so often in the hospital system, and then hey, like...

Rachel Giampietro  57:33  
Control so then they can get their forceps in, they can get the vacuum in, they can see everything. And it's like,

Jac Simmonds  57:39  
let me do an intervention that might be needed. 

Rachel Giampietro  57:41  
And if you know, my out, the midwives I've met say that they don't deliver babies, women birth babies. So it's this whole like, oh, he helps me deliver my baby. It's like, No, no, no, you birth your baby. Right? We, you know, 

Jac Simmonds  57:56  
it all comes back a little bit of control of it. Yeah.

Rachel Giampietro  57:58  
So it's like just the words we use and yeah, like so many things. So yeah, for my second birth, I had a home birth a beautiful, amazing home birth. I mean, the birth itself was just as intense if I think my midwife said every mother says it, but I was like, that was much harder than my first but I forget. But the whole the whole, I was cared for, and monitored more in my home birth experience than it was in my public system. So I didn't see my mother. I didn't meet my midwife for two hours, about 18 weeks pregnant when I went into the public system, whereas with my private midwife, I saw her from eight weeks onwards, often

Nick Papastamatis  58:36  
I've always been a bit uncomfortable. And, you know, I haven't had children. But I've always been a bit uncomfortable with the notion the idea of my wife giving birth in front of a bunch of fucking strangers. Yeah. It's like, how is that gonna make you feel comfortable? to relax? Yes. And let the baby come out? Yes, it's the answer. Is it? It? Does the opposite. Yeah.

Rachel Giampietro  59:03  
And it doesn't it's amazing that you can see that I mean, and it's so hard for the dads and the partners. To watch the women they love go through a journey in which they feel almost helpless. But

Nick Papastamatis  59:17  
yeah, feet up in stirrups.

Rachel Giampietro  59:18  
Yeah, like, you know, and saying, you know, usually a man and obstetrician really lot sort of almost butcher like some women will say they felt butchered. And like that's just such a horrible experience to end you can see all these women that are just so turned off having children and because of the experience they had so but I did a birthing course called calmbirth, which I paid to do, it's not the free ones through the hospital, which again, from what I've heard it just not what you need to hear, but I paid for that. And my husband Nick begrudgingly came along but it really opened up every mailing list he was like, Oh, hey, I'm here cuz she told me And then they were like, Yes, me too.

Nick Papastamatis  1:00:03  
It's like, it's like an AA conference. Yeah, I'm really not interested in this. Yeah.

Rachel Giampietro  1:00:09  
Cuz I was like, You need to be interested, like, all these guys are and then they're like, actually Yeah, but you can see by the end of it, they felt confident knowing like, Okay, what what is my role as a as a partner, Dad like to pick up? How can Yeah, how can I be the man for her that she needs to be like, cuz I'm obviously physically not gonna be able to do anything. You don't understand your role in providing that safe space and also being an advocate for her if you know what her deep down choices that like, Oh, she really wants. If she's in law, labor land, which happens, you could be that person be like, Hey, no, she didn't want that or leave her. Can you give us some space plays and just really support her Johnston the power in that and if you almost feel helpless, it's a it's a bad but it's a sad experience for you too. Because you're like, Oh, God,

Jac Simmonds  1:00:54  
it sounds like there's definitely a need for more open dialogue more. Well, women being made more aware of their choices. Yeah. And not succumbing to the medical systems. Perceived approach of how this is how childbirth should happen.

Nick Papastamatis  1:01:12  
And it's very important to make a note that we're talking about uncomplicated birth.

Rachel Giampietro  1:01:17  
Yes, this is low risk. If you got a high risk pregnancy, absolutely.

Nick Papastamatis  1:01:22  
Yeah, not talking about emergency situations, you're not talking about breech birth. Yeah, we haven't even we haven't talked about one complication here. Yes, this is on uncomplicated, but

Rachel Giampietro  1:01:34  
the people forget to remember that it's over 80% of women are capable of a natural birth. But those numbers are skewed now like it's it's so rare to hear a woman who was like I loved my experience. It is it is so much work. And you'll find that obstetricians will schedule it in on the day that they want it they won't let you go overdue because they'll claim that it's not safe for your baby, when in most cases, it is absolutely fine to go up to 42 weeks, but they will again tell you Okay, well now baby's not he will induce so most inductions are again like, you know, your baby's not ready... I don't have time to go through this tomorrow. And it's also nice. She's been in labor for like eight hours yet know how many centimeters dilated was she? In both my births, Well, towards the end in my first but I was never checked for how dilated so obviously, your cervix would dilate during the labor process. And it's a common myth of like, Okay, well, if it's been four hours, and you've dilated two centimeters is going to be another four hours until you're another two centimeters, and you need to get to 10 before you're ready to push. And so again, you'll get constantly checked, which is very violating when you're in labor to spread your legs and get checked. And then it also plants these seeds of doubt of like, gosh, God, you've been laboring so hard for so long, and just nearly two centimeters. But in actual fact, you can go from two to 10 in 20 minutes, like, you know, maybe not be that exaggerated, but it can be completely different. And that's what I found definitely was with me when I best a majority of my labor at home and the first and then I got to the hospital and she was like a 10 centimeters, which I didn't need. I didn't need to be monitored. My midwife said I could tell over the phone that you were fully dilated. She didn't need to check you. And so with my home birth, not once was I checked, there was no time it's like, wow, you know, you've been taken so long, they just check the heartbeat. And I allow my body to do its thing. She can tell by my voice, she can tell by the space in my contractions. It's all intuition. And it was such a beautiful environment. There was no getting in my space. You just allowed me to do my thing. And I had who I wanted it to be that was in my privacy of mine.

Nick Papastamatis  1:03:41  
It was just I just don't see. I don't see the medical world prescribing to this. Ah, it's subscribing to the sorry. Yeah, I just don't I just don't I don't ever see that even being feasible for them. No, and it's it might think if you want if you want a birth that's inside a hospital, you're gonna get a transaction.

Rachel Giampietro  1:04:02  
Yeah, very, very, very rare, which is why I'm such a poor home birth advocate. And I can understand a lot of women who were like a bit scared of that like and I was with my first pregnancy too, but my niece so my eldest sister in law just spoke before about saying that she had three children had a gap and then had two and the last one was a home birth. So her first child of her five was 20 when she had the fifth child home birth, and so that 20 year old child had a home birth for her first job last year and she was a support person at my home birth and I just think how beautiful is that? She saw her mom confidently birth her sister at home. She then was a support person for me. Seeing me birth my daughter at home and she went and did that for herself for her first birth. So it is possible if you believe in yourself and she had a big baby 4.2 kilos which guarantee if you're getting measured and you would tell by your obstetrician you got a big baby you might get stuck In natural birth, again, they'll plant the seeds of doubt for you to just be like, yeah, let's just have a cessarian...or push and tear.

Nick Papastamatis  1:05:07  
um, I think the like, I don't know, I'm hearing like, because there's a lot of there's a lot of like this, obviously, you've been educated, and you've done the research. You've spoken to a lot of a lot of people and you've had variable expert opinions and experiences. I don't know, if I, I don't know if I want to believe that, that the obstetricians will manipulate it so that they get the outcome they want? I hope not. But if that's true, that's terrible.

Jac Simmonds  1:05:44  
I definitely don't get that perception.

Nick Papastamatis  1:05:45  
I think I think they've seen too many things go wrong. Yes, there's definitely that perspective, and they are just more cautious than they are due to liability probably. And, and again, it comes back to liability and just trying to get the safest outcome. However, the safest outcome may not necessarily be the best one for the mother. Yes, for all parties, all parties. And you know, and obviously, the safest sometimes gets skewed. And it comes down to making sure that the mom and the baby are healthy, conservative.

Jac Simmonds  1:06:16  
Yes.

Nick Papastamatis  1:06:17  
But perhaps that conservative and rigid in the choice and the informed consent

Jac Simmonds  1:06:22  
And the protocols around that? I'm not sure. I'm not sure

Rachel Giampietro  1:06:24  
there is there's a lot involved. And obviously, I'm not a trained professional in childbirth, and I am going by all the stories that I've heard, and I've I've, you know, I'm friends with a lot of private midwives now and I've heard a lot of stories. It's just I love sharing that there is a lot that I've heard manipulate straight out manipulative stories like and but I can definitely say that there are some wonderful obstetricians out there are still some I've heard positive stories, midwives have a great relationship, but they are extremely rare

Nick Papastamatis  1:06:53  
The biggest thing that I'm that I'm hearing right now is because like, when you when you starting to get educated on like, on what you're saying the rates, it's very easy to start to think that you're that because I'm not hearing a discount the medical system. I'm just all I'm hearing is that there are innumerable ways around to...

Rachel Giampietro  1:07:14  
 Yes, there's so many other options.

Nick Papastamatis  1:07:16  
...people are not educated and others know to explore. Yeah, I personally, I feel like this, this entire field is like a black spot in my understanding of health. Yes, in terms of what your choices are, and what you're actually allowed and not allowed to do or should or should not do. Yes. And that ambiguity makes you just surrender to Yeah, to what the professional has to say.

Jac Simmonds  1:07:39  
And and I guess having a second baby gives you hindsight as well, right. 

Rachel Giampietro  1:07:42  
Oh, absolutely. And back to you first. And even still, the I just actually found it funny towards the end the amount of difference in reactions or the similarity I should say, of when I would tell people I'm actually having my breath at home.

Nick Papastamatis  1:07:57  
What What were the reactions you're getting?

Rachel Giampietro  1:07:59  
Oh, is that safe? Oh, actually, I really hadn't thought of that. Oh, but what if you need to go to the hospital? Okay, well, they'll go to the hospital. And they're like, but oh gosh, you're brave. Oh, God, I couldn't do that. What are you gonna have no pain relief? I'm like I had no problem leaving my hospital experience to like it's just an assumption and then so many mothers who are like, No way would I be doing childbirth?

Nick Papastamatis  1:08:25  
This Okay, I'm really sorry. naive boy. Go for it. Go for it. So if you're at home Yeah. How do you manage the whole cutting the umbilical cord thing? 

Rachel Giampietro  1:08:35  
So yeah, wow. Just the I didn't get my kitchen scissors. She got her scissors. Thankfully, no, they obviously have their own they have their own kit and so they even have like a midwife so Okay,

Nick Papastamatis  1:08:52  
I've gone to the wilderness here guys,

Rachel Giampietro  1:08:54  
so there's a thing called free birthing. So that is where you don't hire a midwife. And there's plenty I didn't realize but there is plenty of women who just birth their babies at home by themselves. Oh they do everything themselves. Yep. So there is that there is big world out there again. They don't share it because they'll just cop absolute signs of times. It happens accidentally how many women who like oopsies had my heart have my baby at home? Like it happens so that's like the most extreme version home birth with a private midwife is the like, safer version. I don't know what you guys know. Shut up. I don't know how many but free birth is a thing.

Nick Papastamatis  1:09:43  
You going free birth? We going on the private hospital

Rachel Giampietro  1:09:48  
and you know what, there's many unintentional free births that's that's the thing as well as where it's like So Emily Skye, is a massive fitness, Instagram or whatever you want to call it. She had a second baby. accidentally at home like she just labored so quickly. And it was it was on the like kitchen floor. So that technically is a free birth. Nobody was there. Yeah. So it happens. So again, women are capable of doing this and sometimes you have absolutely no control. It just happens. So,

Nick Papastamatis  1:10:15  
like Jaco said made a very good point there. It isn't it it's a natural freakin thing. Why are we trying to make it so unnatural?

Rachel Giampietro  1:10:21  
It is just the thing. And like, to me The homebirth was the next specs. Like it was the best option for me because I had more like I said, I had more care, in terms of my midwife was fully accessible all the time on text phone I saw every four weeks at our house, I will long deep consultations, she gave me a world of like education. She has a massive bookshelf of all incredible informative, empowering birth books. every topic under the sun you could think of is there. It's just like, opening my world up into education and really just empowering me and supporting me, I would I would leave her consulting, like, Oh my gosh, this is just the most incredible journey of my life. And I just think how many women don't feel that ever?

Jac Simmonds  1:11:03  
Like millions.

Rachel Giampietro  1:11:04  
And so many don't. So I'm just like, Oh my gosh, I just I loved I loved being pregnant. I love the I love the whole physiology of it. And when you learn like when I went to the calm birth course, and who's it's actually designed by a male.

Nick Papastamatis  1:11:17  
Yeah. Interesting.

Rachel Giampietro  1:11:20  
Peter, forget his last name, but paid I actually saw him when I went again, because I want to get in when I was pregnant with della. But I just I love learning about what a woman's body is designed to do in birth when she's not in a fearful environment and in credible, and when you learn it, you can't unknow that. And as a male hearing that going, No, this is this. And this is what her body's designed to do, she's not in pain. This this is a contraction, it's a sensation, and it's designed to contract the uterus to help the baby birth.

Nick Papastamatis  1:11:48  
These are all normal. It's not just as prehistoric as, as all you've got to protect your back. Yeah. You've got all night you should be you should be medical. Yeah. And look what happened. Now. Now. It's like we're all awakening towards actually what's meant to happen. Yeah.

Jac Simmonds  1:12:06  
And the same thing is happening. Birth like this. There's a definitely a movement happening now with people who? Yeah, you know, yeah. think and feel the way you think. Right? Which is, which is awesome.

Nick Papastamatis  1:12:16  
I think if we it's very easy. Sorry. It's very easy to see why you're so passionate. 100% about Yeah, and why? I can see a very, I can see the gap that you've bridged?

Jac Simmonds  1:12:30  
Yeah. I think there's still a lot of still a lot of mothers who need to know this stuff.

Rachel Giampietro  1:12:35  
Yeah. And they don't I met moms who have had four kids that are just like, what,

Nick Papastamatis  1:12:39  
So is this why you opened your gym?

Rachel Giampietro  1:12:41  
So yeah, and I mean, I didn't realize the depth of it. And the power of it at that time. But it was it was a movement that I just felt like there was just a gap between and I would listen to others my mom's pregnancy and birth stories that mothers groups, whatever and think, gosh, I know so much. And I'm not even you know, quote, quote, qualified in a minute. But you don't need to be black. If you had this book. No, what's that book? Oh, my gosh, I read this book. Have you done this? Course? No. And I'm like, why does not What the Why doesn't anybody care about this? Or like, no, this is about like, this is the thing, why it's important. It was just like, Oh, my gosh, I've got to be a leader in this field. And for me, the exercise element was the route that I took. But then I didn't realize, you know, what strongman was capable today. It's it's exercises, nutrition, it's motherhood, its parenting, its birth advice. It's, everything can come under the umbrella of motherhood.

Jac Simmonds  1:13:28  
It's just not the nuts and bolts of exercising.

Rachel Giampietro  1:13:30  
it's just not exercise. That's almost a small part of what I do now. And I guess we're strong on the future is going to go but I love just empowering women and really getting them to say that you always have a choice. And don't be afraid to question the why.

Jac Simmonds  1:13:47  
And the same way? Yeah, you know, like, women definitely have preconceived ideas about how they should train during pregnancy. Do you have any, I guess, if we do get more towards the exercise and training, you know, during pregnancy, post pregnancy? Where do you see women? I don't want to say go wrong, but you know, maybe go wrong with their preconceived ideas, or what how does training change? whilst the women's woman's pregnant? And after? 

Rachel Giampietro  1:14:13  
Yeah, great question. So really, in my experience, there's there's two ends of the spectrum for pregnancy training. There's majority of the women who are too terrified to do anything. And whether that's been there's no support from their GP or their care provider to start something new or to go to the gym. I mean, like yoga and aquanatal. And all those types of things are generally recommended. This is starting to change, but that's usually the concept of like, no, I shouldn't be doing anything strenuous while I'm pregnant. And I don't want to because I'm exhausted, or the other end of the spectrum which is small, but it exists of extreme athletes who then have such an identity to the way that they physically perform. They push themselves to extreme limits that cause some, some highlights a damage but

Jac Simmonds  1:15:07  
physiological changes

Rachel Giampietro  1:15:09  
to what's already changing and getting a lot of pressure such as. Yeah, the you know, the the abdominal wall and the pelvic floor..

Nick Papastamatis  1:15:20  
which exposes them to unnecessary risk.

Rachel Giampietro  1:15:23  
Yep, yep. And also, or there's a big element of guilt and resentment in the fact that they have to lower their weight. So yep, they're all like, you know, real, real FOMO especially I've, you know, in my education in my certification of pre and postnatal, the whole CrossFit world of like, you know, how, I guess, disempowering it is when you can't function or perform the way that you used to. And it's like, I don't want to scale back, I'm strong, I can do this. But it's also knowing that there is a big need and power in surrender, and just allowing yourself to regress as necessary to enhance your recovery and to come back, stronger, like so there's just two ends of the spectrum, I don't actually train a lot of pregnant women, the only ones that I do, were the ones that I was working with beforehand, because they very confident in their body, it's become a part of their lifestyle, they trust me. And they've formed that positive relationship with moving their body that they feel is one thing that they want to hold on to. When we come down, and when we when we revert back to talking about you know, doing something for yourself, it's like, well, if that's what you're going to do for yourself before, during, and after that helps keep you alive and keep that part of you that you want to hold on to. Then that's, that's where you that's how you want to see it, but a lot of women don't. And it's too It's so hard to start exercising during pregnancy, there is so many changes your body's going through, the last thing you need is try and add a new habit in there. Like you are so incredibly tired. The amount of energy that's required to form the foundations of supporting a life in the first 12 weeks is ridiculous. You know, you breathe like your cardiac output increases your demand for oxygen increases your blood supply doubles, like instantly. So you have the baby that your app tells you the size of a sesame, but you woke up a set of stairs and you literally feel like you've just done 30 minutes of extreme cardio on the soul blacklock you just you just fathoms by how incredibly hard life is. Let alone trying to exercise or someone saying to you Why don't you start exercising? 

Jac Simmonds  1:17:40  
During pregnancy? 

Rachel Giampietro  1:17:41  
Yep during.

Jac Simmonds  1:17:42  
I mean Tara is just wiped out when she gets home from work.

Rachel Giampietro  1:17:45  
I was napping. I could barely drive home from work. Yeah. Because you forget that growing a child requires energy. And when you get most of your energy presentation when you rest, you're asleep. So

Jac Simmonds  1:17:59  
do you think do you think the fitness industry as a whole? Do you think practically that it accommodates for new moms very well?

Rachel Giampietro  1:18:06  
No. I mean, I kind of winged it myself, like I said, but I was seeing a personal trainer at the time, who said, Oh, yeah, I try my wife. I know what to do. But after sort of learning my certification, some and I was very inhuman my buddy. So when he told me to run for the warm up, and I could feel a lot of pressure and pelvic floor, I thought, I'm just gonna walk. He's not watching. I'll just walk. You know, but then I was doing bench press sets on my back lying flat, which No, no, look, I didn't feel anything. Because if I data would have changed, I didn't feel anything. So there's a big sort of misconception about lying you back. Right? So most people will say from 20s. Yeah, most people will say from sort of 20 to 25 weeks, you shouldn't straight out Lie on your back. Then some most of the studies will say like, if a woman doesn't feel dizzy out of breath, and it fits a short period of time, which is not really defined, but that in small bouts, it's okay. It's also good to keep in mind how women gets up and down on our backs or use a lot of interpret dominant pressures and things like that. Is it necessary like is can you can you at least put a 15 degree incline on the bench like again, so it's it's not huge, but there were things that I was like, Well, I don't feel like he really thought of that or knew about that. He didn't tell me to roll over on my side. When I got up off the bench press could have chosen a shoulder press instead. Like there was things I was like, as much as you try and his wife he's not didn't doesn't know.

Nick Papastamatis  1:19:37  
It's just you just said nothing went wrong.

Rachel Giampietro  1:19:39  
Yes, nothing went wrong. So and you know, it was great that he was like, supportive of me wanting to be active, but there was a lot of things that could have been programmed more optimally, which is where I was like, okay, Blackpool doesn't accommodate Yeah, yeah. So Oh, absolutely not. And again, when I was doing my pre and postnatal certification, over 85% of women will have have children or have had children like and think about how many trainers out there will try and women, yes, at some point they will become pregnant or they have had a child and once popart postpartum, always postpartum whether you just had a baby, you had a baby 20 years ago, you need to know what childbirth and pregnancy has done to that lady's body and how that will show up in the way that you program and her symptoms. And even though her baby's gone and having their own babies, if she's never looked at a pelvic floor in the way, her abdominal separation, it could have just lied dormant of how it recovered just after she had the baby. So like there's so many things you need to know in training a woman.

Jac Simmonds  1:20:34  
That's funny, it's funny for us, like physios and Cairo's, like with treating women during and post pregnancy. Like I know, for myself, it's something I rarey see. And I'll always refer, and like,

Rachel Giampietro  1:20:46  
and that's amazing that you do that.

Jac Simmonds  1:20:47  
And I think that's pretty common as well, though, like, I'd feel much more comfortable with someone seeing, you know, Tammy, or seeing whoever whoever it is that we refer to Yeah. For these things, then saying myself, yeah, and I think that might be missed a little bit sometimes in personal trainer world.

Nick Papastamatis  1:21:03  
I think also, the amount of postpartum pain in women that are, you know, 10 plus years past birth. that comes with that chronic hip pain. But we as Karros physios forget that hip pain is a common symptom of pelvic floor dysfunction, and pelvic floor issues or pelvic floor trauma. Yes. And so, checking for that, like, we're talking about you need to check for these things. Prop like in an educated Yes, systematic way not not. Let's just chat.

Rachel Giampietro  1:21:44  
Yeah, you need to use Emily's like, and again, women will just be like, but I'm a mom now. So like, I just feel like it's supposed to feel different down there. I can't jump on he trampoline with my kids, yes you can!

Nick Papastamatis  1:21:55  
It's unnecessary acceptance, isn't it? And it's not until they get educated in a place like this. Yeah. Or, you know, in a gym like yours, where they realize, Oh, awesome, so that, oh, no doubt that's gonna and then when you say to the Minister, of course it does. But isn't it meant to?

Jac Simmonds  1:22:14  
Yeah, I think this whole, this whole chance opened, at least my eyes to, during pregnancy, post pregnancy, you have to have the right information available to you have to have the right people available today. That, that is a big detail. I don't want to say success, but like, with how smoothly everything goes and yeah, and how powering and how empowering, it's gonna and how satisfied you as a mother will be at the end of this as well. You want to think back to you the birth of your child,

Nick Papastamatis  1:22:41  
I'd imagine if I'm gonna embody a mother. Which let me just hang on, let me just embody. Hang on. Hang on. And..

Jac Simmonds  1:22:53  
Nektaria.

Nick Papastamatis  1:22:54  
yes, sir. Well, that's Yes. And, and imagine that, if I was to think back to an experience or an event like that, which is life changing? So you know, for me, it's thinking back to my wedding. Yeah. Yeah. If I think back to my wedding, or back to the day, I proposed to my wife, if that doesn't meet my expectation, which it did, all my expectations were met, because we planned like, yeah. And if you think back, and you're like, you actually think back in horror of what happened that day and how someone else made you feel and the and the lack of instant connection that you had with that child, your child that you've just given birth to. And all you're thinking about back to the birth is the obstetrician, or the position you're in, or the pain or whatever

Rachel Giampietro  1:23:45  
the lack of voice you had or how disempowered you felt

Nick Papastamatis  1:23:50  
like, yeah, so it's like, it doesn't become a celebration anymore.

Rachel Giampietro  1:23:54  
There. It's there's a general sort of, I guess, diagnosis movement called birth trauma. It's huge. And so many women don't talk about it, but it's the trauma that they hold on to from a birth experience that didn't go the way you thought it would.

Nick Papastamatis  1:24:07  
I wonder if there's a link between this and postnatal depression.

Rachel Giampietro  1:24:09  
Yes. 100% I think there is I didn't even think you need to question that. 100% like, you can't deny it, like again, it's paving the way for motherhood if there's if there's that underlying and it's usually unresolved trauma, it's physical trauma, if you haven't physically felt the release of your child the way that your body is intended to that there's the store trauma there. I mean, if you're all prepped, ready to go, you've labored for 12 hours just about to push and then there's some fatal distraction they go and give you a Syrian as if there's not some trauma in the body of where it's like got 80% of where it was supposed to be and then boom got cut out and so how how does that heal like and how does that heal spiritually, emotionally, physically, like as if there isn't trauma stored there. 

Nick Papastamatis  1:24:51  
when he when I hear you say store trauma, I'm hearing I'm hearing it from a metaphysical point of view and not so much. Not so much what It's more of us emotional and emotional part of your brain.

Jac Simmonds  1:25:04  
Yes, it didn't fulfill how you know you pictured it,

Rachel Giampietro  1:25:07  
yes, which can show up in physical ailments as well,

Nick Papastamatis  1:25:10  
you can come up, you can come in with pain. But then you get an MRI and it's all clear.

Rachel Giampietro  1:25:15  
yes. So yeah, like, I guess how deep you want to go into it. But I get 100% I went down, I see women struggle every day. And I struggled myself and I had some what a empowering birth. And if I look back, maybe there were a few things. But you know, I just think Gosh, imagine how much more I would have struggled on top of the fact that I was already struggled with the way things turned out of my son after I had him on top of if I didn't have a birth or a pregnancy journey that I, you know, genuinely felt okay about, I can just imagine how much worse it would have been. And I look back now and thank God, I think I was depressed, I just didn't get diagnosed, I kind of didn't want to because I didn't need to be. I didn't want to be labeled that. I felt like I had to attach myself to that I kind of avoided that. But if I look back now, I definitely had all the signs and I can see so many women that I meet and so many women that I know I won't meet because it's just so hard to turn up to a gym when you just can't even get out front door. 

Jac Simmonds  1:26:15  
There might be I guess there's obviously the chemical people who are obviously more paranoid depressive states. And yeah, this is exposed, post pregnancy, but then there might also be the situational stuff as well. Where pregnancy childbirth, postpartum, not as expected in your experience during losing, losing who you are, you know, spiritually and personally and things like that, that these things can lead to postnatal depression. And obviously, you could postulate you could put Yeah, exactly. And and obviously there's the other side which is there are people who are chemically prone to a depressive state. Yes,

Rachel Giampietro  1:26:52  
and there's also the element that I guess ties into what I do about losing the love for their physical form so it's there we are so quick to forget how incredible our body is to literally grow and birth a child no matter how you birth it naturally rosarian late like you we literally created life but we are so quick to get to a phase of like well I want to fix my body I need to lose my weight I need to tone up like look at my pouch and you know I'm so we can all this kinds of stuff. It just was so quick and so easy to judge and forget how incredible our bodies but it's also like, what is the most ironic thing to me that I think people don't think about it's so like taboo to lift heavy during pregnancy. But if we put scenarios of a mother that already has two children that are age, let's say me, two and five, my five year old weighs 20 kilos, my two year old weighs 12 kilos, whether I go to the gym or not, I am lifting heavy things. A 20 kilo child and a 12 kilo child all day. I'm lifting them in and out of cost aids so I'm dead lifting I'm keeping. I'm putting my my daughter in a high chair. I'm also holding them as they kick in the strength scream and Ben they've been been they're back, back when they're having a tantrum. I'm also lifting a double pram which can weigh up to 20 kilos and more I'm pushing it. So I'm using Yeah, and they are all in non optimal positions. I'm not thinking of bracing my core my pelvic floor I'm not choosing a weight that's appropriate for my physical for my fitness level. So I'm lifting heavy, so mothers need to be strong to deal with motherhood, whether you like it or not. So it just baffles me of people like why would I do strength training? I'll just go and do yoga and aquanatal. How is that preparing you physically for motherhood? You don't lift heavy things all day long and if your doctors telling you don't go to the gym, why not? 

Jac Simmonds  1:28:45  
And nothings going to get you down more than having acute back pain every day.

Rachel Giampietro  1:28:48  
Yeah. And like how much did moms struggle breastfeeding, you're in that crash positional all day long. And then on you know, children like so many moms don't surrender to babywearing yet if you think of mammals, I think humans are the only babies that are born that are unable to fend for themselves for the first at least a year of life. So you think of other you know, animals that are born they can almost just walk straight away and fend for themselves in some sense. Our children cannot they will literally die if we don't fend for them. So that's huge responsibility and a mother and they need to be skin skin on our chest they need to hear our heartbeat they need to smell us they need to be as close as designed for bonding and design for state safety as well that wake during the night to develop your milk supply and to keep them safe. So again, we're going to prep for sleep deprivation and a baby only chest all day and and you know physically what that does to the body. Yeah, and again, if you're not prepared if your abdominal, your core and your pelvic floor have not been even like if that woman's not even aware of how to contract them if they've been stretched weakened, like gentlemen. So like how would that how would that mother feel About her body and its capability postnatally. If that's her painful lifting her babies, why would she go to the gym? So she probably thinks I, you know, but I'm saying no, you need to go to the gym in order for you to be able to confidently carry your child around. Otherwise, yeah, you literally get to the point where you resent your child for wanting to be held so much, because you're like, my back is killing me. I can't do these sounds like well, what if your body was strong? You'd be able to attend to the needs of your child more, because you'd be physically able to? Yes, so there's so many, so many positives. Definitely.

Nick Papastamatis  1:30:31  
That's massive, it is huge. And it starts with with awareness, right? It's not necessarily that you need to be strong per se. You need to know how to least use it. And when you went like the difference between a squeeze and a lift in your pelvic floor,

Rachel Giampietro  1:30:49  
yes, and a relax too.

Nick Papastamatis  1:30:52  
And a relax.

Unknown Speaker  1:30:53  
That was a big eye opener for me cuz I was like, I am all over this. And then looking back in hindsight, realizing I probably had a..

Nick Papastamatis  1:30:59  
You were just clinching the whole time

Rachel Giampietro  1:31:00  
overactive, tight pelvic floor, which is why I probably tool so much in my first pregnancy. I didn't know that. Because my second I had a very, very tight pelvic floor. And I was like, well, that explains why I probably taught so much because the inability to relax and like all of that. So and that is also can be from a lot of weightlifting, as well, because you're constantly contracting, but you need an equal balance of relaxing too. 

Nick Papastamatis  1:31:21  
So again, it really does also come down to just how well you also Breathe,

Rachel Giampietro  1:31:26  
breathe, or connect.

Nick Papastamatis  1:31:28  
Yep. And a really tight pelvic floor is a good indication of your fight or flight. And also your stress position, your stress levels vary. And so there's lots of like factors and exercise modulates all of that.

Jac Simmonds  1:31:41  
And you need to you need to have this stuff assessed properly to know exactly what you are, and then to train it in the most effective.

Rachel Giampietro  1:31:48  
I had a lady that came last week to the gym for baby food. And from what I'd heard it all gone through private obstetrician, and she said, Oh, I saw something on Instagram get about getting a clearance letter. Do I need to get that from my obstetrician? I said, No, that was the clearance letter for women's health physio to return to exercise. She goes I'll join ADA. I said, Well, it's not compulsory. I mean, it's not illegal for you to come and train him. But it is highly recommended. And I will guide you very safely until I know that you know, how your pelvic floor and abdominal area has healed so she ended up going messaged me and said, well, thank you so much. My women's health physio is actually recommended. I don't go back to training in. I've got you know, a four centimeter abdominal separation shouldn't say anything about pelvic floor, but it wouldn't surprise me she's only six weeks postnatal with a new baby. She prided herself on it. And I yeah, popped around on the Monday I was back at school drop off. And I'm like,

Nick Papastamatis  1:32:44  
Oh, so yeah, there's heaps of contractability there.

Jac Simmonds  1:32:47  
Yeah. And I think women like I don't, but how are they supposed to know? I don't ever hear anyone say I've got a tight pelvic floor. Every woman thinks that if they've got pelvic floor dysfunction, they just assume it. That's exactly what I meant. I go and try and I go squeeze, squeeze, squeeze,

Rachel Giampietro  1:33:03  
I'm all over these keegles. And then when I when I was like, oh, wow, it's just it's just as bad almost because it needs to be able to relax.

Nick Papastamatis  1:33:10  
as we've started to uncover. And it's definitely been over the past two to three years where we've started to uncover the importance of women's health, and especially the role of physiotherapy and health practitioners in women's health, whether you're a practitioner, as a primary health care practitioner, or someone that's a trainer that is well educated and certified. And this is and this is where, like, for me, as someone who has a very strong interest in sport, and has done a lot of work in sport over the past 10 years, and chronic pain. If it's not those two, I'm getting closer and more open to just referring them to the because how the hell am I supposed to know everything about everything about women's especially because it's pivotal as well? Yeah, it makes it it makes is a huge, it has a huge impact on the next 10 years, and their immediate future and then the long term future. It's like how can I How can I then say safely...

Jac Simmonds  1:34:12  
You just can't confidently Yeah,

Nick Papastamatis  1:34:13  
no, I can't confidently advise

Jac Simmonds  1:34:15  
and as soon as you think that that's when you should be doing...

Rachel Giampietro  1:34:17  
Yeah and I feel like there's there's I can know like I've seen things on Instagram of other trainers training their partner's pregnant and pride and on 1RMs and I'm like, do you know what that so her whole life the valsalva maneuver her holding her breath? Yeah, the implications of that. So there's an increase in blood pressure. There's an immense amount of pressure into the your abdomen pelvic floor and you are promoting women you know, pushing their bodies to extreme limits during pregnancy. So you are a representation of fitness in the fitness industry and if I was a pregnant woman naive and thinking all Yes, he did it. That's a second baby Look, that's must be safe. And I'm like you You haven't done a pre and post natal certification, I don't care that it's a second baby and the first one survived. You don't have the right to train her and publicly show it and and take pregnant women into your classes, you are doing them a disservice. And you're doing yourself a disservice.

Nick Papastamatis  1:35:14  
actually you're actually I'm going against the duty of care that you owe to all your clients. Yeah. And that's actually thinking a little

Rachel Giampietro  1:35:24  
if you have had a baby and or you know, someone that has baby, it does not mean you know, everything. I don't know what I know, just because I've had a baby. I know because I had to study it. I know, I have to know every possible scenario. So when women come to me and say, Oh, I had this and I'm Oh, yeah.

Nick Papastamatis  1:35:39  
So you've done your certifications. But then you've also done further study?

Rachel Giampietro  1:35:42  
Yeah, so I did the cert three and step four. And obviously, there's like about two slideshows on like, Pregnancy training, cool. And then I did an extensive pre and post certification that went through every element of the physiological changes, mindset changes each trimester postnatally, it goes through even like pregnancy, weight loss awareness. Like, there's a whole other world like if you really want to be a leader, as a coach, you need to know every possible thing that a woman could enjoy a preconception pregnancy and postnatally to be able to really serve and be who you need to be. And it's like, you know, just because you had a baby doesn't mean you can train some new train during your pregnancy doesn't mean you train someone. It's like saying, well, I've given birth to a baby so I can help you birth your baby to it's like, No, you go and do a certification extensive studies to help other women birth their babies, 

Nick Papastamatis  1:36:34  
you could you could probably help help us the exact same situation in someone else. Yes.

Jac Simmonds  1:36:39  
Are there any specific courses you'd recommend?

Rachel Giampietro  1:36:42  
So I I did, I've done a few. So the basis of what I did, which are hands down was the most informative up to date evidence based was Girl's gone strong, they're doing online pre and postnatal certification. And they've teamed up with a massive team of experts in all fields, so obstetricians, nutritionists, dieticians, physiotherapists from all around the world. And you've got a little info section on the front, the incredible all evidence base, all the studies, they're really specific. Almost like, and I loved it, because it was kind of like with the line on your back. It wasn't like you cannot lie on back, because that's what Google says. It was like, Well, it depends. This is what this study says. But you're also gonna face and there's also a lot of not, there's not a lot of research, because who is going to put the hand up to go into your study during pregnancy? Or postnatally. Like so there's not a lot of hard evidence for a lot of things they can just..

Nick Papastamatis  1:37:40  
It would be hard top get the ethics approved on it. Yes. It could really not be your role...

Jac Simmonds  1:37:45  
not your especially. Yeah,

Rachel Giampietro  1:37:46  
yes. So you know, you got to understand that as well. But then there's a lot of common sense that is sort of laid out in the book as well. And you know, anything that can be backed up is anything isn't sort of specifies that but it was fantastic. And then there's also barrel education, bu double r E double l Jenny barrel runs that she's quite big in the UK is an Australian branch that ran some face to face I did a lot of prep courses with that as well. So I've done that. And then I've just read it in an extensive amount of evidence base books on all things nutrition. But yeah, so they're definitely the top two and of course he's gonna teach you so much. Yeah, and I also think obviously my personal experience definitely helped as well and it also makes it a lot more real for me as well but there's definitely pre and postnatal, god there are guys out there who are experts in praise pre and postnatal one of the top women's health physios Anthony lows is..

Nick Papastamatis  1:38:41  
I know him quite well ...the physio is detective.

Rachel Giampietro  1:38:45  
Yeah, he's a detective. So him and Marika Hart have a podcast and Marika Hart is one of the contributors in the Girls Gone strong and she's she's phenomenal in women's health. And I've learned a lot from her as well outside of the certification so I've done a lot of little courses as well but they're the basis and they are very heavy into the science of pregnancy and which I frothed on it's it's a hall of the world and a you know, anyone that will look into it will realize Holy moly, how much I...

Nick Papastamatis  1:39:12  
It's a different realm all together.

Jac Simmonds  1:39:16  
Yeah, absolutely. Definitely.

Nick Papastamatis  1:39:17  
What are your top three. Top three bits of like top three golden nuggets that you'd give to a woman? No, wait, okay. That has never given that has never fallen pregnant?

Rachel Giampietro  1:39:30  
That Oh, about just anything,

Nick Papastamatis  1:39:33  
top three nuggets.

Rachel Giampietro  1:39:39  
So in terms of birth, I would say that this is so much I want to say that. I would just say that. Your your body is designed to birth and if you look at the physiology of birth, and the hormones is a cocktail of hormones that are produced when you are not in a state of fear, that enable your body to enjoy the most incredible things. So just to know that that, that you were born with that privilege as a woman, you've already got it.

Nick Papastamatis  1:40:19  
that's beautiful.

Rachel Giampietro  1:40:19  
Secondly, to know that your children will be the absolute greatest gift in life, if you can lean into the resistance. Anytime you feel a resistance that trigger if you can lean in that and reflect it back to the work that you need to do on yourself, you will become the most free and loving version of yourself. The world that my children have opened up for me, is just incredible. I didn't realize how not free I was and how much I didn't feel. And also knowing. Third thing is that I can't remember where I read it. But a woman woman's ability to feel emotions is incredibly heightened after she becomes a mother, so we feel things so much deeper, which means that to me, we can enjoy life so much richer than we did before. Because we've we've got that ability to just really feel things. And I think that is also a gift. And it can be a hindrance in some ways, because you really struggle. But we also as women, as mothers, we have the ability and the fire to set strong boundaries and to love data, to see the world in a different way. And that's also another gift as well, like, becoming a mom is just seriously a gift. But it's it's not very common for me to see women being open to that possibility and not drowning in, in the change of motherhood. Because we're just we just don't have that self awareness or confidence or information to know how to lean into the lessons that our children have sent to you.

Jac Simmonds  1:42:01  
That's great. Wow. Awesome. Some good nuggets there. 

Rachel Giampietro  1:42:04  
I'm pretty proud of that actually. 

Jac Simmonds  1:42:06  
That's really good, its on the record.

Nick Papastamatis  1:42:08  
Yeah.

Jac Simmonds  1:42:09  
It's I think there's been some great lessons in today's podcast range, I think, for anyone who is as Nicko said, like looking to get pregnant, going through pregnancy, postpartum, and, you know, is curious or interested in, you know, the way they're giving birth, how they can, I guess, maximize their experience as a mother. And obviously, working their fitness and health around that as well. So I think it's, um, there's been some really great lessons in there. So thanks for coming.

Rachel Giampietro  1:42:41  
Thanks for having me. Like I love that you two blokes were interested to hear. It's not for me. Don't worry. Yeah. Like what a gift from your wife. So It baffles me as well that, that men aren't really thinking that they need to know about this stuff. But what a gift that you can be on that page like and that's what my husband's done for me. Like I said, at the beginning, I'm sort of the one that's been questioning things and having a home birth was big for him. But I was like, if you can just trust me, that is the greatest gift you can give me. Because if you can hold me up while I'll stay, you know, lead and really find his high version of myself. That's all I need from you. So, like, I take my hat off to you guys for being even open to have this conversation. 

Nick Papastamatis  1:43:22  
It'll be out. It'll be a child too. And I definitely feel like it's a it's, I owe it. I owe it to my wife

Jac Simmonds  1:43:32  
and to our to our child, you know, like, I think what I've gotten from this obviously, you know, going into fatherhood is I need to Antara needs to continue to be the best versions of ourselves to be the best parents we can be. So yeah.

Nick Papastamatis  1:43:47  
Listen, how do people reach out to you?

Rachel Giampietro  1:43:49  
So they can find me on Instagram @_thestrongmama. Also got strong mamas. So that's at strong Mama's underscore a US but we're also rebranding our gym to strong fans, because we want to work. That's something very exciting. So strong mamas will still be an awesome movement as it is, but it'll be going all online. And yeah, we're opening doors for strong fans in our journal gyms. So that'll be launching next year, which is very exciting. Because Yeah, my husband came on board and we just feel like we can serve more people and really help families unite with one with themselves and and, you know, as a parent, it's not easy to put yourself first, but it's not hard either. We can show you how and I guess because you know, looking after yourself is not for you, just for you. It's for your family too. And if both parents can be on board, imagine the power of that instead of just just the mom. Sure. So yes.

Nick Papastamatis  1:44:48  
Well, it's been a pleasure having you on now.

Rachel Giampietro  1:44:50  
My pleasure to thank you so much.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai